. keep it hidden within me .

Friday, August 21, 2009;

what i really wants..

was a little moody this morning. guess my morning din started off dat well. goodness. its fri and im feeling this way. not a good sign. sigh..

call it concidence or wad. but it seemed dat the conversation today revolves ard the same topic. again and again. i start to question myself, start to think alot. yes again. i used to think alot alot. so much dat i tink dat its not very healthy, not good for health.

topic of the day "what u really wana be". sorta something similar la. dun really noe hw to put it into words.

started off talking abt jobs. one of my collegue talk abt jobs dat have high prospects and earn good money. den come all the topics abt studying. they said dat we sld jus go and upgrade and study more while we're young. dun wait till old den regret. one said i sld study wid baby instead of wasting my time doing nothing, relaxing and just working.

i start to think. i noe im not a study person, dats why i nv choose to study wid him. but who knows dat deep inside, i also wish i could hv a better job to provide for my parents more and to save wad i can instead of just getting by the days.

u noe wad sucks the most? its dat at the end of the day, u work like nobody business, u get nothing. just enough to get by the days without much savings. i feel like shit at times i hate to regret.

my colleague asked, wad do u really feel like doing? i wonder and start to think about it too. i really dun have an answer to her question.. i feel dat im very lousy, no ambition, no goals no dreams. i dun have something to work towards to.

and i realise, at the end of the day, i dun really hv anyone to confide to. sad but true.

im tired of thinking.
can anyone tell me wad do i really want?

Labels: emo

9:18 PM