45 wedding anniversary.

A married couple in their 60s were out celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and -- abracadabra!?--

Two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed. But a wish is a wish... So the fairy made a circle with her magicstick and -- abracadabra! --

the husband became 96 years old.

The moral of this story: Men might be ungrateful idiots... But fairies are female...


** Contributed by: Carl Estes
** Credit to: credits


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Mathematics.

This equation should be taught in all math classes!

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions..

If,
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26..

Then,
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and,
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far butt kissing will take you.

B-U-T-T-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
2+21+20+20+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 151%



So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there..

it's the Bullshit and Butt kissing that will put you over the top.


** Contributed by: Joe Lawson
** Credits to: credits